"my eyes haven’t stopped burning, silly you thought i was crying, my eyes may as well start shooting out fire because i haven’t slept in fucking months, my body is fucking shacking in pain craving your name, my throat used to burn from how much alcohol i used to swallow now i swallow it like it’s water. i still have frost bite on my hand from all my late night walks when all i could do is blast my music and freeze but the thought of you was more powerful than the wind accompanied by that minus 5 degree weather. i don’t remember the last time i haven’t woken up dizzy bashing my head across the wall hoping that would get you out of my fucking mind. holy fuck all these days i have to slur out ‘im okay’ to every fucking idiot who believes me. for the first month i guess people were there for me but as time went on i lost them all because no one fucking understands what i fucking go through and jesus fuck i don’t wish this on anyone. its like you met me and already had this all planned out to love me and fuck me, when i said i wanted to get fucked i didn’t mean fuck me up mentally, i should have known you were holding me too close and i should have known you called me beautiful too often to ever be real but mostly i should have fucking known you would have left me then i would have been ready for my bloodshot eyes and those empty bottles and all my dizzy mornings followed by my freezing nights. it’s almost as if ever since you left it gave everyone a free fucking pass and an okay sign to do exactly the same thing, the only sad part is i don’t give a fuck who else walks out of my life because it hurt once and you can’t get hurt twice by the same reason, the next times it’s just little bruises because you already caused the fucking major scars. never trust anyone who promises anything to you because those who constantly promise are the same people who will shoot you from behind and you will never fucking know why."
~j
you were the beginning of the end (via reeject)
you were the beginning of the end (via reeject)
